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Hot Pressed

by Mahawam

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Ohmstar
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Ohmstar Mahawam continues to grow as an artist, getting better and better with every release. They continue to craft lyrically adept personal journal entries that are so heartfelt and touching that it's impossible not to connect with the music. I want to spread the love of Mahawam around. This level of artistry deserve more recognition. Favorite track: I Killed A Hesher Once.
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i luv mondays on BFF.fm
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1.
Hitherto 01:46
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I know where we go when we die I went there a couple of times last year Everyone I was then, they died I watched the light leave their eyes last year And I don’t have no guilt that I’ll survive at all But I see it in you, boy You need to cut it out Oh, you should have been dead like seven times by now Only got like two more lives, You need to slow it down I know running for you is muscle memory Any moment you’re not running you spend wrestling You need a therapist Not a referee I already blew the whistle, you weren’t listening Can’t have nobody else first in the queue for me I just pulled up on myself And baby, she agrees I no longer say your name Only hitherto I no longer think the way I learned to think from you 'Cause I can’t work on me While I work on you While you work on you Who’s gon’ work on me? Don’t know what to do Had make a move No more room to wonder "Hm, is it meant to be?" And, I can’t work on me While I work on you While you work on you Who’s gon’ work on me Don’t know what to do Had make a move Boy, I had to choose me Only other choice was losing Had to choose me Only other choice was losing So I chose me
2.
Did U Kno 02:46
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Did you know Yah yah yah Oh did you know? I did Did you know I’m in love, boy Did you know Oh did you know So unusual I don’t fuck with no one but I fuck With you Did you know I’m in love, boy Did you know Oh, did you know too? If you wanna stay I’ll stay If you go outside Then I’ll play If you wanna stay I’ll stay If you go outside Then I’ll play Anywhere Easy words to say I’ll sing I’m in love with you Like Monique Loved Oglevee I’ll stay And if you go outside then I’ll play Anywhere 'Course you know All I ever do Is show for you I’m gay 'Course you know Blah blah blah Yeah, of course you know Better fuckin' know Ah, but did you know I’m not wearing nothing under These jeans Nothing 'Course you know I’m worse than Adina Got a t-shirt but Ain’t got no panties on If you wanna stay I’ll stay If you go outside Then I’ll play If you wanna stay I’ll stay If you go outside Then I’ll play Anywhere Easy words to say I’ll sing I’m in love with you Like Monique Loved Oglevee I’ll stay And if you go outside then I’ll play Anywhere If you wanna stay I’ll stay If you go outside Then I’ll play If you wanna stay I’ll stay If you go outside Then I’ll play Anywhere Easy words to say I’ll sing I’m in love with you Like Monique Loved Oglevee I’ll stay And if you go outside then I’ll play Anywhere Anywhere Anywhere Did you know? I did Did you know? I did
3.
I Killed A Hesher Once 03:48
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Now I know a hit dog hollers A hesher and a ghost Imagine that Was it that Van Tassel woman where you're from? And does she know that Sleepy Hollow Is in Florida? Can’t say you’re too hard headed Word is you don’t have one My whole drop D aesthetic Tested your mettle, huh? I’m too hardcore for ya You’re not metal enough Embarrassed that you found a soft spot And if it was a lesson, learned a lot That if it weren’t you Then it’d be someone else That’d make things awkward at my holiest haunts Can’t help but laugh it off Can’t say you’re too hard headed Word is you don’t have one All countenance regretted Why even bother her If you're afraid to touch? Was it a dare or som'n? Did you bet all or none? Hesher, I have a hunch I repelled the hessian front I killed a hesher once Yeah, I killed a hesher once With their own sword and such
4.
Hot Pressed 03:41
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I’m hot Pressed to straight bone My temper’s short The day is long I’m not ready to let go But it’s too heavy to carry on My back’s the vehicle If you shame me Then you blame us all I’m not ready to let it go You can’t save me You can’t save ‘em all I’m just saying I need a second to reckon I been patient Now I’m absent the substance It’s all faded And peace in public evades me The good’s latent, my goodness My grace, jaded Let’s change places I live like you, now I’m easily persuaded That everything is okay In the same way it’s not Then maintain it and Scoff at the way Atlas And Sisyphus portray it I'm hot Pressed to straight bone My temper's short The day is long I’m not ready to let go But it’s too heavy to carry on With no way to explain it The fires burn in such way That I can’t name them I feel the pain in a place That I ain’t tamed yet I see your face in the flames And I just hate it I hate you Can’t even burn in peace Hot Pressed to straight bone My temper's short The day is long I’m not ready to let go But it’s too heavy to carry on My back’s the vehicle If you shame me Then you blame us all I’m not ready to let it go You can’t save me You can’t save ‘em all Let’s change places I live like you, now I’m easily Persuaded To lose the fight in me Easily placated I’ll find it difficult Making my own way Now undo me I can’t take it With no way to explain it The fires burn in such way That I can’t name them I feel the pain in a place That I ain’t tamed yet I see your face in the flames And I just hate it I hate you Can’t even burn in peace I'm hot Pressed to straight bone My temper's short The day is long I’m not ready to let go But it’s too heavy to carry on My back’s the vehicle If you shame me Then you blame us all I’m not ready to let go You can’t save me You can’t save ‘em all
5.
Lizard Brain 03:18
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Leave me alone. Please just let me be. Did you read the sign? Of course you didn't. Please understand It's you, it's not me I've got way too much to do With my memory And you ain't ready yet. What good's the altitude without the azimuth? I don't want to hear "I'm too passionate." For someone so high up, you're directionless Baby I don't think with my lizard brain (Nope) My eyes are up here (My eyes are up here) Best leave while you can run away (Best leave while you can run away) Or did you not hear - (You must have not heard, huh?) That I'm pretty cold-blooded, babe? (I'm pretty cold-blooded, babe) And I can taste fear (And I can taste fear) You don't have the constitution, babe (You don't have the constitution, babe) Ain't tough enough I'd eat you up I don't have it left inside of me To teach anyone else to love me near as easily as I love me Pray you give 'em hell, but please do not include me in that number Oh my god Don't choose to stay I'll choose the mission Your eyes for me Are not the vision What did I say, hmm? You didn't listen Details in the dossier Bet you missed it And you ain't ready yet. What good's the altitude without the azimuth? I don't want to hear "I'm too passionate." For someone so high up, you're directionless, baby I don't think with my lizard brain (Nope) My eyes are up here (My eyes are up here) Best leave while you can run away (Best leave while you can run away) Or did you not hear - (You must have not heard, huh?) That I'm pretty cold-blooded, babe? (I'm pretty cold-blooded, babe) And I can taste fear (And I can taste fear) You don't have the constitution, babe (You don't have the constitution, babe) Ain't tough enough I'd eat you up I don't think with my lizard brain (Nope) My eyes are up here (My eyes are up here) Best leave while you can run away (Best leave while you can run away) Or did you not hear? (You must have not heard, huh?) That I'm pretty cold-blooded, babe? (I'm pretty cold-blooded, babe) And I can taste fear (And I can taste fear) You don't have the constitution, babe (You don't have the constitution, babe) Ain't tough enough I'd eat you up

about

Hot Pressed isn't a concept record, but the songs are collectively about choice and getting out of your own way. They came about at a time when I was beginning to learn what I want, not just do what I must. There's been talk about queers undergoing a second-adolescence later in life because of the limitations placed around their identities as youths. I feel similarly, but it's more like a kid who grew up too fast learning to be an adult the right way. Parts of this record speak directly to that process of figuring out who you are again after a long period of being certain. Self-definition is hard fought and the idea that you may have to release something you would have died to protect is difficult to reconcile. But age reveals how much of you is you, and the surprise for me around 30 is that the answer was “not much.” At times it feels like I'm living life from one place with my feelings and desires in a box somewhere else. These songs came about as I opened that box, unpacking control of the flow of my life and its capacity for growth. The songs touch on softness during introspection, rejection, the power in choosing yourself, play, and the wisdom in negative emotions. They’re little distillations of my experiences learning to leave instead of cope, to think nothing instead of thinking poorly, and of using peace to rest instead of planning for future conflict.
I generated a couple dozen bits and ideas, which gelled into somewhere around 10 songs. Speckled throughout the process, contributions from guitarist Derek Barber, multi-instrumentalist Natalyn Daniels, and co-producer and mix engineer Aki Ehara did a lot to focus the record's sound, and opened me up to collaboration, which I'd largely avoided previously. I then pared that pool to six tracks that, five of which you hear on the release.

credits

released April 19, 2024

All songs written, performed, and produced by Malik Mays
Mixing, recording, and additional production by Akiyoshi Ehara
Mastered by Bijan Sharifi
Electric guitar on "Hot Pressed" and "I Killed A Hesher Once" by Derek Barber
2024 Molly House Records / 2024 Walk Cycle LLC

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Mahawam Oakland, California

Mahawam is the studio recording and performance outlet for Oakland based musician, songwriter, and producer Malik Mays. Black and queer, among many things, the 30 year old’s work combs the borders and unexplored terrain of self and other, with themes of discovery, reclamation, and purpose through a deeply considered, intersectional lens. ... more

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